When pulling in our parking lot.
I was pleased to get the closest spot.
But far from good luck.
Ten birds crapped on my truck.
So the closeness it seems was for naught.
Simply Shotgun
Fresh Ink
StandardMy friends the rumors are true.
That the WOLF has bid us adieu.
I’ll miss doing the show.
After getting let go.
But I think I’ll go get a tattoo.
Thirteen
StandardMy oldest daughter is now thirteen.
Causing problems unforeseen.
Out go the toys.
And in come the boys.
I may have to call the marines.
Orna-mental
StandardEach year I go ornament shopping.
To buy at least eight without stopping.
I went to St. Nick.
And that did the trick.
After an hour of flip-flopping.
Black Friday
StandardToday is desinated to shop.
Which most will do til they drop.
Not me, I will leave,
It ’til Christmas Eve.
Though my gifts are usually a flop.
Trophy Wife
StandardToday I give thanks for my wife.
Who I swear is the love of my life.
So I’ll buy her some wine.
And take her to dine.
And maybe she’ll put down the knife.
Thank God For Kids
StandardI’m thankful today for my kids.
Who have much more fun than I did.
They’re both very bright.
And if we raise them right.
They won’t turn out like me, God forbid!
Dreaming of Turkey
StandardMy in-laws are coming to town.
So you may wonder why there’s no frown.
Cuz my mom-in-law Judy.
Makes cooking her duty.
And the turkey will be golden brown.
Keep to the Code
StandardThis morning I broke the man creed.
When teasing my friend for his speed.
Me flapping my lip.
Caused his wife to flip.
I’m hoping my car won’t get keyed.
Frosty Morning
StandardI hate when the weather gets cold.
That deliquent Jack Frost gets parolled.
At 13 degrees,
My boogies will freeze.
And my hankie’s too stiff to unfold.
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