Did you hear ’bout the coach up in Maine,
Who was clearly not using his brain?
He posted a pic,
Which featured his (blank).
And strangley, the parents complained. LOL
News
R.I.P. Whitney
StandardWe learned Whitney Houston had died,
And hoped that the internet lied.
We all feel the sting,
Cuz MAN could she sing!
And now she’ll be mourned world-wide.
Oscar Snubs HP7
StandardDaniel Radcliff is very upset,
That no Oscar noms did they get.
But if they counted receipts,
It’s sold enough seats,
To gross more than the national debt!
More Than a Memory
StandardCongrats are in store for Garth Brooks,
Who stood up to the hospital crooks.
He gave half a mill,
They didn’t fulfill,
So he got back the money they took.
Lauer Final Hour
StandardToday the rumors are flyin’,
That Matt may be pushed out by Ryan.
I’ve always thought Matt,
Was a big Ass-hat.
So to say that I’m sad would be lyin’.
CURB-ing his Creativity!
StandardTo court today goes Tim McGraw.
Who hopes to get help from the law.
He’s got some new tunes,
But CURB says “Too Soon!”
To Tim that was the Final Straw!
Wise Quacks
StandardAflac’s severely annoyed.
After part of Japan is destroyed.
Their pitchman’s Tweets.
Weren’t very sweet.
And now he will be unemployed.
Fateful Trip
StandardToday it marks twenty-five years.
Since our nation united in tears.
Seven astronauts died.
On the Challenger ride.
In search of the final frontier.
What’s Your Sign?
StandardIt seems that the Earth tends to drift.
Causing our star signs to shift.
Where the heavens align.
You may have a new sign.
A surprising celestial gift.
Voice of Gold
StandardDid you hear ’bout the dj named Ted,
Who had no roof over his head?
Did drugs with regret.
But thanks to the net,
Now he’ll make millions instead.