On a New Year’s Eve such as this,
I celebrate my wedded bliss.
Asleep I will fall,
And when they drop the ball,
My wife wakes me up for a kiss. 🙂
Sock it to me, Jesus!
StandardA woman in Kent had a shock,
When she saw Jesus’ face in her sock.
While it dried on the line,
She built it a shrine.
And I’ll bet they’re lined up ’round the block.
Resolu-shunned
StandardAt year’s end we stop to reflect,
And find things that we should correct.
But hard as I try,
I’m such a great guy,
There was nothing that I could detect. 😉
Hide The Whiskey
StandardThe divorce is now final for Mel,
Who’s life isn’t going too well.
With his venomous spews,
And bigotted views,
A comeback would be a tough sell!
Christmas Toast
StandardThe best part of Christmas each year,
Is the salute to the ones who aren’t here.
While some loved ones have past,
Their memories last.
And we toast with a drink and a tear.
No Take Backs
StandardI always get nervous to shop.
And hope that my gifts aren’t a flop.
So for each Christmas treat,
I save the receipt.
Then at least they can take it to swap.
Icing Violation
StandardWhile inspecting the cookies to frost.
The broken ones need to be tossed.
So tasty and sweet,
I know I can’t eat,
But my self-restraint usually gets lost.
Hitting the Road
StandardAs I hang up the “Gone Fishing” sign,
And hang with that family of mine.
You won’t miss my rhymes,
Or BONUS Word times,
Cuz they’ll still be posted online!
Fail to the Chiefs
StandardFrom our Perfect 16 and 0 prayers,
We’re uttering cusses and swears.
They’ve ended the streak,
But it’s still a good week.
As long as we pummel The Bears!
America’s Got Blue Talent
StandardNext Summer we’ll watch Howard Stern,
Give TV Talent Judging a turn.
He’s abrasive and rude,
So when they get sued,
Perhaps then The Hoff will return! 🙂