Electric Personality

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In the winter I feel like I’m trapped.
Each thing I touch I get zapped!
Electricity,
With SPARKS I can see!
I’m finding it hard to adapt! 😦

And a bonus haiku…

Everywhere I go
Static Electricity
My fingers are numb

Rapier Twit

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Golden Globes Host Ricky Gervais,
Is thinking of changing his ways!
He’ says he’s not mean,
So he’s keeping it clean.
Much to the networks dismays.

Ghost Ship

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When a Caribbean Cruise features Kate,
People aren’t taking the bait.
If she’s on the trip,
They’d rather jump ship.
I’d be hoping my raft would inflate.

Distasteful

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This week it appears I’ve been faced,
With water that has a foul taste.
Yesterday’s jug,
Had a rubbery chug.
And today’s has the flavor of paste!

Indian Winter?

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It’s odd that instead of the snows,
And the lakes that have usually froze,
The weather’s so nice.
It’s makes me think twice,
‘Bout storing all my summer clothes!

Heck of a Sand Trap

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Remember O’l Tiger’s ex, Elin?
She was finding her house unappealin’.
So she leveled the place,
And there’s egg on her face,
Cuz all her supporters are squealin’!

Six Pound Hammer

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Last night I watched Man vs Food,
Where they found two crazy young dudes,
Try in Title Town.
To force a Gravedigger down.
And when they were defeated I booed.

Cold Start

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My garage door motor is marred,
And fixing the thing is too hard.
But to go lift the door,
Is also a chore.
So instead I just park in the yard.

Moo-y Christmas

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In an effort to make Christmas merry,
Mike Fisher bought for his wife Carrie,
A cow work of art.
That he knew touched her heart.
I’m glad she’s a fan of the dairy.