Wrong Direction

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According to TMZ.com and People.com, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have named their newborn daughter North West. That lovely nugget inspired today’s Limerick:

Did you hear about Kanye & Kim.
Whose baby was named on a whim.
They thought it was best.
To call her North West.
Her chances for normalcy: Slim.

R.I.P. Whitney

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We learned Whitney Houston had died,
And hoped that the internet lied.
We all feel the sting,
Cuz MAN could she sing!
And now she’ll be mourned world-wide.

Grammys

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For a singer, winning a Grammy,
S’like a ball player hitting a Grand Slammy.
But please take your time,
When onstage you climb.
And be careful you don’t pull a hammy.

Oscar Snubs HP7

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Daniel Radcliff is very upset,
That no Oscar noms did they get.
But if they counted receipts,
It’s sold enough seats,
To gross more than the national debt!

MIA is SOL

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The NFL and NBC,
Are racing to say “Don’t blame me!”
They would have preferred,
Mia not flip the bird.
And now she’ll be paying the fees!