When Tiger confessed to his honey.
He’s been humping around like a bunny.
She chased him outside.
And smashed up his ride.
And now she’ll get half of his money.
Black Friday
StandardToday is desinated to shop.
Which most will do til they drop.
Not me, I will leave,
It ’til Christmas Eve.
Though my gifts are usually a flop.
Trophy Wife
StandardToday I give thanks for my wife.
Who I swear is the love of my life.
So I’ll buy her some wine.
And take her to dine.
And maybe she’ll put down the knife.
Thank God For Kids
StandardI’m thankful today for my kids.
Who have much more fun than I did.
They’re both very bright.
And if we raise them right.
They won’t turn out like me, God forbid!
Dreaming of Turkey
StandardMy in-laws are coming to town.
So you may wonder why there’s no frown.
Cuz my mom-in-law Judy.
Makes cooking her duty.
And the turkey will be golden brown.
Keep to the Code
StandardThis morning I broke the man creed.
When teasing my friend for his speed.
Me flapping my lip.
Caused his wife to flip.
I’m hoping my car won’t get keyed.
Why Women Hate Us
StandardA survey asked gals coast to coast.
Of men what’s the things they hate most.
They say we don’t try.
We watch what they buy.
And with feelings we’re dumb as a post.
Lilo tantrum
StandardA boutique presented Lindsay.
With two grand of jewelery for free.
But she wanted more.
And stormed out of the store.
Why she was invited? Beats me!
Frosty Morning
StandardI hate when the weather gets cold.
That deliquent Jack Frost gets parolled.
At 13 degrees,
My boogies will freeze.
And my hankie’s too stiff to unfold.
Phone Sex
StandardSome idiot looking for fun.
Whose cell phones minutes were none.
Was feeling aroused.
So his contacts he browsed.
And decided to call 911.
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