Last night while cooking fried rice.
And some peppers preparing to dice.
My finger did slip.
And I sliced off the tip.
Guess my home cooking comes with a price.
Dancing Mean
StandardLast night they booted Ol’ Kate.
Whose Dancing was quite far from great.
The voting’s a sham.
They’re sending out spam.
But people did not take the bait.
Spore Loser
StandardA note to the lovely oak trees.
Whose pollen brings me to my knees.
We’ve an ample supply.
At a 30 year high.
Excuse me, cuz I have to sneeze.
Hard of Hearing
StandardEach year the ACM’s I have found.
Have terrible trouble with sound.
It’s real hard to sing.
When you can’t hear a thing.
And the stars do their best to rebound.
Daring Debut
StandardThis afternoon, I’m on my way.
To see my kid in her first play.
I hope that she shines.
And remembers her lines.
I’m so proud I don’t know what to say.
All About the Benjamin’s
StandardSo Larry decided to date.
The sister of wife number eight.
He’s wrinkley and old.
Divorce will unfold.
And now they’ll divide his estate.
Long Live the King
StandardThe Idols did songs from The King.
And Lambert’s the mentor they bring?
I’m not trying to suggest.
They did less than their best.
It’s too bad there’s not one that can sing.
I’m (still) with Coco
StandardThe latest news to hit the press.
Is that Conan lands on TBS.
He’s willing and able.
But a new show on cable.
Will not match his prior success.
Share the Blame?
StandardThis weekend a Tweeter named (Jim) Carrey.
Said things that were very contrary.
He blames Tiger’s wife.
For their marital strife.
Future girlfriends should likely be wary.
Born to Lose
StandardI’m not quite sure why I forget.
When Jesse persuades me to bet.
That I should refuse.
Cuz I always lose.
And go a bit deeper in debt.