Last night the stars of the screen.
Gathered to see and be seen.
I’m sure they were shocked.
As each one was mocked.
That Ricky Gervais was so mean.
What’s Your Sign?
StandardIt seems that the Earth tends to drift.
Causing our star signs to shift.
Where the heavens align.
You may have a new sign.
A surprising celestial gift.
Grammer Schooled
StandardCamille let it slip that her ex.
As a pre-cursor to sex.
Would sometimes say “Yes”
And slip on a dress.
That’s not going to help her cash checks.
Lone Star Chill
StandardToday we’ve got temps in the thirties.
Time for the micro-fleece shirties.
Best cover your knees.
Or they’re liable to freeze.
It’s not a good day for the skirties.
Fit to be Fried
StandardMiss Simpson’s concerned with her weight.
Wants to lose it before its too late.
Not sure what she’s tried.
But Oreos fried.
Will surely cause you to inflate.
Easy Money
StandardMs. Lohan disproves the cliche.
Because offers are coming her way.
The jewelry aside.
And a cushy new ride.
I guess that drugs really DO pay.
Ring in the New Year
StandardYou have to feel sorry for Eddie.
Who’s income’s been rather unsteady.
The ring for LeAnn.
Cost him $85 grand.
He’d have been better off with a teddy.
Voice of Gold
StandardDid you hear ’bout the dj named Ted,
Who had no roof over his head?
Did drugs with regret.
But thanks to the net,
Now he’ll make millions instead.
Bad Reception
StandardThere once was a QB named Bret.
Who moved to New York as a Jet.
He’s thrown a few picks.
But texting some chicks.
Are the ‘passes’ he’d like to forget.
-A. Edwards
Lazy, Lazy.
StandardMy buddy Alex Edwards, who does a morning show in Wisconsin, busted me for being lazy and not doing the Daily Limericks. He said he’d even contribute to give me the kick in the ass I need for 2011. My New Year’s Resolution is to get back to doing it regularly.
But… you may occasionally see him with a byline. 🙂
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