Shotgun's Daily Limerick

Feeling the Burn

shotgun1049 — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:15:54 +0000

For heartburn I must take a pill.
Then I can eat what I will.
But today it was silly,
To get Chicken Chili,
Cuz I’m paying much more than the bill!

15 Yard Penalty for Grossness

shotgun1049 — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 21:59:12 +0000

Did you hear ’bout the coach up in Maine,
Who was clearly not using his brain?
He posted a pic,
Which featured his (blank).
And strangley, the parents complained. LOL

R.I.P. Whitney

shotgun1049 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:20:35 +0000

We learned Whitney Houston had died,
And hoped that the internet lied.
We all feel the sting,
Cuz MAN could she sing!
And now she’ll be mourned world-wide.

Grammys

shotgun1049 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:45:11 +0000

For a singer, winning a Grammy,
S’like a ball player hitting a Grand Slammy.
But please take your time,
When onstage you climb.
And be careful you don’t pull a hammy.

No HOUSE Calls

shotgun1049 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:42:16 +0000

I’m taking a moment to grouse,
Because Fox is canceling House.
Now every Monday,
There will be no way,
To avoid hanging out with my spouse.

Oscar Snubs HP7

shotgun1049 — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:12:41 +0000

Daniel Radcliff is very upset,
That no Oscar noms did they get.
But if they counted receipts,
It’s sold enough seats,
To gross more than the national debt!

MIA is SOL

shotgun1049 — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:09:05 +0000

The NFL and NBC,
Are racing to say “Don’t blame me!”
They would have preferred,
Mia not flip the bird.
And now she’ll be paying the fees!

Dropping the Ball

shotgun1049 — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:51:00 +0000

You have to feel bad for Gisele,
Who’s evening did not end so well.
She says that her beau,
Cannot catch AND throw!
There’s some Packers she also should tell!

I Though God was a Packer Fan?

shotgun1049 — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:57:22 +0000

Gisele asks her family to pray,
For when Tom and the Patriots play.
It may be a sin,
But I don’t care who wins,
As long as we have a buffet!

Tres Miserables

shotgun1049 — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:58:42 +0000

It bothers me that Taylor Swift,
Has by the Les Mis folks been stiffed.
We’d love to have seen,
Her play Eponine.
Now millions of fans will be miffed.