Feeling the Burn
For heartburn I must take a pill.
Then I can eat what I will.
But today it was silly,
To get Chicken Chili,
Cuz I’m paying much more than the bill!
15 Yard Penalty for Grossness
Did you hear ’bout the coach up in Maine,
Who was clearly not using his brain?
He posted a pic,
Which featured his (blank).
And strangley, the parents complained. LOL
R.I.P. Whitney
We learned Whitney Houston had died,
And hoped that the internet lied.
We all feel the sting,
Cuz MAN could she sing!
And now she’ll be mourned world-wide.
Grammys
For a singer, winning a Grammy,
S’like a ball player hitting a Grand Slammy.
But please take your time,
When onstage you climb.
And be careful you don’t pull a hammy.
No HOUSE Calls
I’m taking a moment to grouse,
Because Fox is canceling House.
Now every Monday,
There will be no way,
To avoid hanging out with my spouse. 
Oscar Snubs HP7
Daniel Radcliff is very upset,
That no Oscar noms did they get.
But if they counted receipts,
It’s sold enough seats,
To gross more than the national debt!
MIA is SOL
The NFL and NBC,
Are racing to say “Don’t blame me!”
They would have preferred,
Mia not flip the bird.
And now she’ll be paying the fees!
